This smoking gun of a mouth of mine
Has many victims to its name,
But this time it was your words that killed me.
Right where I was standing, I was hit by lightning,
Words of yours went through my chest,
And I was pulled apart till there was
Everyone will remember me
Only because of how I twist my words around.
If anyone gets to this point,
Stop yourself from diving in headfirst onto solid ground.
The one that was a friend,
The one I spent talking about the most unimportant things over bbm with all day, all night long.
The one who would prioritize me over everything… well, over most things.
The one who would ditch his friends just to see me, even for the shortest period of time.
The one who said will ignore me because his favorite soccer team is currently having a match, but ended up accompanying me instead.
The one who wouldn’t stay up all night for me, but was always the one who gets up first in the morning and greets me on bbm, and totally made my day.
The one who would trip me over my own shoe laces that he tied together, and eventually beg for my forgiveness.
The one who would go all the way to my place, even when it’s raining.
The one who wouldn’t say nice things about me and teases me all the time, but I can always tell how much he loves me just by the way he looks at me.
The one who wouldn’t stop talking when I was crying and as much as I hate him for that, he would eventually stop and lets me drown in my sadness for a moment and tries his hard to make me happy again.
The one who would sing me Paradise City in the highest pitch he is capable of, and kisses me when the song is over.
The one who would take me everywhere with his friends and never having a problem with it.
The one who would go on a fit when I smoke too much, but never having the capability to break my cigarettes.
The one who would try his best to hide his feelings because he just doesn’t want to ruin the situation, but ended up telling me anyway.
The one who could never lie to me.
The one who would never promise me anything.
The one who would never break my trust.
The one who would always take his time to tell me how much he loves me everyday,
The one who would never forget.
The only one I wish will never leave me, because he’s become a part of my life.
The one who’s worth to keep,
The one who deserves all my time,
The one who deserves to spend the rest of my life with.
I never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn’t stand losing, but I know now that it’s already too late for that. It’s not because you’re handsome and smart and perfect, it’s just that everything just suddenly feels better everytime you’re around. I feel complete, I feel safe and sound. And I just love you so much it’s messing my head up sometimes. It’s like I can walk around acting all crazy and not giving a single shit because I know I’ll always have you in my life. You’re that one person who changed everything, you’ve changed my view in men, and now my eyes are wide open to the things I’ve never seen before; that one person can actually bring so much excitement, happiness, so much joy into my life. I can finally see now why it never really did work out with anyone else. I see how love works between us, how it changes us into a better person, how it turns both our worlds upside down, and how we still somehow manage to survive. You’ve never been that kind of person who sugarcoats everything, you stay true to yourself and to me, and that’s one of many reasons why I’m in love with you. And I know this might sound a little too cheesy but, a week is all that it took to fall in love with such a great guy like you. I’m still managing to believe how it actually works between us, how it could happen so fast yet we feel so much. But when I look into your eyes, everything just suddenly hit home. I see the sincerety in your eyes, and the more I’m trying to deny it, the more obvious it becomes that I have never felt anything like this about someone and knowing that the person loves me just as much is just the best feeling ever. And because of that, I’m eternally grateful.
Thank you, Satrio Wibowo Adwiputra, for holding me when I feel awful, for making me feel safe, for being strong and steady. Thank you for taking the time to make sure I know how much you love me everyday — even at our worst moments. Thank you, for being my man.
I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.